LDS Missionary Care Package Tips

Mail day in the mission is one of the best days and one of the saddest, in my opinion. Imagine a group of missionaries gathering around a vehicle, giddy to see if they have received a package from home! They live far from the city so this is not a one week occurrence, and it is even more special than getting a regular email. Some missionaries hear their name multiple times and walk away with more packages than they can carry! How exciting! Everyone wants to see what knick knacks and food they got from home. Now, humor me and look at the bigger picture. Step back and look beyond the people crowded around the car. There are missionaries who don't even approach the car because they know their is NOTHING inside it for them. This leads me to my first tip of sending packages to your missionaries.

Tip #1: Don't forget their companion. You hear about your child's companion on a weekly basis. You more than likely know their name and maybe even a little about them So, why not send a little something just for them?  I'm not saying go crazy but wouldn't it be exciting if within that care package for your son/daughter you included a little something wrapped and marked specifically for their companion.

Tip #2: Don't go too crazy. I know this might make me sound like a "party pooper" but missionaries move around a lot and besides; they are missionaries and will be happy with whatever you send them. Some missionaries with large LDS families tend to get a lot of packages so try not to send too many things that they feel obligated to cart around. If it is something they need, great! If it is something fun, practical, etc just make sure they understand you won't be offended if they give it away to a kid or needy family before they leave.

Tip #3: Never send. There are things that definitely should NEVER, and I mean never, be sent through the mail/pouch. Cash should never be sent via mail.

Tip #4: Avoid Sending. I don't recommend sending perishable items. If you are sending these items out of the country they can may be lost, or lost and then found. Food will spoil before it even arrives.
Items may also be mismanaged so let's also include breakable items onto the "no no" list. But there are still those crazy stories of mom's wrapping their son's favorite glass bottled soda in bubble wrap and sending it to Argentina AND making it safe and sound. ( Yes Mom, I still remember you doing this!).
Also avoid sending things that are heavy, like books, see tip #2 to know why. They also have plenty copies of The Book of Mormon -- don't send them more unless they request them.
Keep in mind that every mission has different rules. Be sure to ask what mission rules are before sending music of any kind - some missions won't even allow EFY music.

Tip #5: To disguise or not to disguise. Some families I've talked to are dedicated to "camoflauging" their missionary packages with one or two religious stickers. They think this will keep dishonest postal workers from trying to steal anything because they will think it is mission/ religious supplies. Either that or maybe they are expecting that a sticker of Jesus on the front will keep them honest...? I'm pretty sure that postal workers have figured this out by now, but it is still worth a shot. I've always heard that these packages arrive so feel free to give it a try.

Tip #6: Things To Send. Depending on where your son/ daughter is serving there are certain things that are not available. For example Latin Americans dislike peanut butter and root beer. This fact makes it hard if not impossible to find these items. Unless your missionary lives in a big city, has access to a commissary (on base, military ID required, grocery store), or knows of specialty stores. As for sister missionaries some cultures avoid tampons -- thinking it takes away a woman's virginity. Whatever the thing may be that your missionary misses send it! They will be relieved/excited.
P.S. While I mentioned in Tip #4 not to send perishable items, things like cake mixes are a great way to celebrate your son's/daughter's birthday even if you can't prepare it yourself. Ideas like this are all over the internet so if you have any sites you want to recommend feel free to leave the links in a comment below.

Tip #7: The Things You Say: This tip can also apply to what you write in letters. Talking constantly about what they are missing at home, or having a girlfriend that is constantly sending love letters/ packages saying how much she misses him and wants him home, is not conducive to a productive missionary lifestyle. These things can make them lazy, homesick, and dare I say rebellious/ resentful (if perhaps leaving for their mission was not entirely their idea). Remember to send uplifting thoughts, missionary moments of your own, and gratitude for their willingness to serve. Saying you love and miss them is great, and encouraged! When in doubt read their emails/letters and try to see life through their eyes. This will make your messages more uplifting and quite possibly encourage you to become a better member missionary.

Tip #8: Things You Post: Have you ever Googled missionary blogs? I have and I've found A TON! Keep in mind that some things that your missionary would like shared on the blog/ facebook group may end up be seen by an "unopen" heart. Check privacy settings. Consider: omitting parts of emails, making your blog private,  asking for permission to share photos and stories, and/or changing names.
Remember that not only are pictures of your child up online for the world to see, and read about, but so are the pictures and stories of new members, investigators, and other people who have a right to their own privacy.

Any other tips? Share them with us in a comment below.

RM- Post Mission Transition in 3 Steps

I've had my fair share of interactions with returned missionaries, RMs. I've seen them in the post mission dating world at BYU. On an even wider scale I've heard their complaints and emotional rants as I am still nestled comfortably in the mission home of their former mission. Everyone's responses are different. Some missionaries I've talked to believe that if you worked hard in the mission then you will have closure, making leaving the mission easier. For some people this thought did make the transition easier; however, mission life is definitely different than real life. All of a sudden you are expected to make big decisions for life outside of the mission world NOT to mention removing your beloved Elder/Sister nametag! Instead of having a schedule filled with meetings, you need to consider a job, school attendance, choosing a major, and dating. That's enough to make any co-ed's head spin. But throw in the lack of thinking/doing any of those things for the past two years and it is a whole other world.

So here are my two cents on everything a returned missionary needs to make return to real life a little easier. (And by the way - taking off the nametag has broken many a missionary heart. I don't know how many times missionaries told me that they thought it was going to be something special prior to removing it. But often the stake president just tells them to take it off. (May want to mention this, just in case it happens).)

1. A missionary NEEDS some kind of schedule. In other words they need something to do. They are used to adhering to a a set time to sleep, study, work. I've seen it happen way too often. A missionary, without structure, is a perfect example of why an "idle" mind... hands... etc is a bad thing. They lose momentum and often become stagnant or, even worse, falter.

2. They NEED a "companion".  I'm not saying they need to find a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, but they do need a friend. I say "companion" because they need to find a friend that will give them that nudge in the right direction. A nudge of encouragement to continue living a spirit filled life. After two years of being required to be in eyesight of your companion, personal space can be nice, but it can also feel foreign and even lonely. If all of their friends are away at college and they are stuck at home this could be harder to find. But a companion can be found in your own family, especially your ward family.

3. They NEED to feel useful. A calling, things to do around the house, goals, school applications, and even a job. All of these things will help them maintain some kind of schedule and find the "companion" that will make the transition easier.

Every RM is different. If you are an RM reading this maybe you have some additonal input. We would love to read about your ideas in the comments and depending on what you say we may even include it. But this post is also for those missionary mommas who are turning to the internet to help their valiant young sons and daughters. So Moms, this is especially for you because we know you are listening.